When I arrived in the U.S. 50 years ago on a Pan Am flight from the Philippines, I remember it like it was yesterday. The flight attendant gently pinned a Pan Am wing pin on the right side of my red dress as I calmly thanked her in a soft voice in my native tongue. I clutched onto my grandfather’s hand as I remember stepping off the plane onto U.S. soil. I left the comforts of having so many helpers and nannies to none at all. My brother and I were often alone to fend for ourselves as our parents struggled to earn a good living and adapt to a culture quite different from what they were used to.
I don’t remember much of my childhood. I think it was because I don’t remember having much fun. I became obsessed with achieving and considered myself an utter failure if I received a “B” on my report card. I realize now that my accomplishments were reminders that I had value and worth because my parents just weren’t around to encourage me or even converse with me.
I simply don’t remember having many conversations with my parents. I don’t remember playing games with them. Family vacations were non-existent. I don’t remember having those warm, cuddly feelings growing up. In all honesty, I don’t remember much of my childhood at all.
So I vowed I would change that part of my childhood which I sorely missed, having a relationship with my parents.
Parents are the most influential people in their children’s lives. The stronger their relationship with their children, the more their children will not want to disappoint them.
Research also reveals that a solid parent-child relationship results in huge benefits:
- Young children with a secure and healthy attachment to their parents stand a better chance of developing happy and content relationships with others.
- A child with a secure relationship with a parent learns to regulate emotions under stress and in difficult situations.
- Promotes the child’s mental, linguistic and emotional development.
- Helps the child exhibit optimistic and confident social behaviors.
- Healthy parent involvement and intervention in the child’s day-to-day life lay the foundation for better social and academic skills.
- A secure attachment leads to healthy social, emotional, cognitive, and motivational development. Children also gain problem-solving skills when they have a positive relationship with their parents.
Parents with strong relationships with their children are happier and more satisfied.
The ability to recognize, understand, regulate, and express emotions are essential for healthy development. If parents can model these skills for their children (empathy, persistence, self-control), they will be able to provide a safe environment for their children to flourish and grow.
The truth is, our relationships with our kids are only as healthy as ours.
So to get healthier in every area of your life, my book will help get you there.
Self-Care Self-Love For Overwhelmed Moms: 17 Truths to Reduce the Guilt, Discover Your True Identity, Build Healthier Relationships and Believe You Are More Than Enough.
Pre-Order your copy here.